Calling on the Lord: Days 18-30

I'm here tonight wrapping up my thoughts on 30 days of Calling on the Lord. One thing that I {re}learned in this last leg of the month is that God wants my "today", that all relationships are built on the everyday connections. I can't fall back on the past, lazily filling myself with old bread. I can't live in the future, when I think I'll have more time or heart for Him. I have today for Him. Today.

Psalm 92:1-2 says, "It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night..." In my real life seeking God looks like: pressing into His peace with prayers said in the morning and at night, singing songs of worship, putting the word of God before me, and using the day to live out real love.

The other thing I noticed is that I miss Him more when I haven't been near--like happily miss Him! It's like when life gets busy or confusing, and you haven't chatted with that old best friend of yours in awhile. Then you spend a few hours together and you realize again how precious they are and you miss them more. Calling on the Lord more intentionally is a lil' bit like that--you rediscover the beauty and majesty of your great God and you regret it's been so long since you all got together.

I don't where you're at with God, but I pray you move your heart toward Him today. God knows how to work in our real lives and through His word even teaches us how to connect with Him better. If you need prayer for courage or conviction to come to Him today, I'm praying for you!

Calling on the Lord: Days 5-17

Yep, I really did just write that. Days 5-17. Whatever. It's kind of like my daughter's counting pattern these days-3, 6, 8. Yes I want to be more consistent. So I will keep working at it. There's this beautiful thing I read the other day from Shauna Niequist, read it at just the right time:

There were moments during that rocky, too-fast October when I hurled insults at myself—you always do this! You really can’t change!

But then I apologized to myself, because nothing of beauty gets built through shame, and began again, began again. It’s all you can do, right? Begin again, begin again, begin again.

And one thing I’m learning over and over: you cannot do big-soul-rearranging alone. This is heavy lifting, and a spotter or twelve is required. When I have made progress, it’s been because I’ve asked for help from Aaron or my family or our small group or the Cooking Club. 

Isn't that ever true, soul work is made alongside others. Thank you reader or if there's more than one ha, thank you for being here in these "laying the foundation of becoming a writer" days. Last year I decided if I wanted to be a writer I better start calling myself one. Then I took a class. And this year, this year I cowered from this dream and yet at the same time never felt surer this is where the Lord is leading me. Oh Lord, forgive me. Pray courage over me.

In the last 12 days I've realized some things. I've been angry at God. I let that distance me from Him for awhile. And when I decided to come closer to Him, I didn't know what to do with that anger. So that's just how I came to him. And unlike man, He didn't push back, He didn't leave. He heard me.

I also realized I talk/sing God's ear off. I'm ready to say so much to Him and think that through all my noise we'll connect. The silence, oh the silence, scared me. But there's where he's been weaving peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding.

I have much more to say. And loads more I'd like to hear from Him. So I'm going to keep calling and praying He answers.

In faith,
Rachel

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen." Matthew 6

Calling on the Lord: Day 3 & 4

Ahh, sinking into a sweet moment of peace here in a busy week to do what my soul wants to do--think and write without interruption.

And would you know I wanted to do something different originally--31 Days of His Faithfulness, sharing stories of how He's worked in my life. It would have been easier than this, and I would still love to do that series! But I felt God was calling me to be involved, more personal in my role of pursuing a relationship with Him, and actively calling me to wrestle out my faith here.

Day 3

Lord, have you seen the news? The world's news? My family's? Do you know what's happening here on earth and how broken it can be. The world responds by looking for "the good in humanity". But what if (and we are) all are sinful? Then where do we look for hope? What is your plan in all of this? How much longer must we wait for the healing of the nations? What is your will in moving us to such an affluent area? What is your heart for this place? And what are your purposes in our own financial struggles? What of my dreams? What else can we do?

Verse: This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you", declares the Lord... -Jeremiah 29 {Thank you for these pages of your word this day.}

Day 4

Verse: Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. -Proverbs 3:17

Lord I want others to experience your peace through me. I want to surrender my anxiousness to you. I want to have you be known through me. I've served and I've served, but I've neglected to sit by you. To be still. To choose what is better, sitting by your feet knowing you. And I'm worried 'bout so many things, but you God are available to me. In a messy humble home, with a tired mother. This is how you entered our world. And that's the next part of hope in this song I'm writing--you with us.

Calling on the Lord: Days 1 & 2

Happy Fall Y'all! It's time to write here. Time to write there. Time to shake off these fears, a time to speak, and time to share His messages faithfully. So to kick off what God's doing inside of my head and my heart, I'm going to do a "30 days" series for the 1st time here on my blog. Welcome to my first installment of "Calling on the Lord"!

Day 1

Verse: Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. -Psalm 86:11

Today I am feeling vulnerable to all the stuff of life. I'm consumed with worries of current struggles and fearful about "what if this happened..."nonsense worries. Anxiety fills my heart and I don't know how to finish the lyrics of hope to a song I've been writing on my way to work. I don't know how you're working in all of this Lord and I feel so far from you Lord. And my heart? That's as divided as a freshly sliced thin crust pizza. Teach me Lord and bind my heart to your truth. Amen.

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Day 2

Verse: Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!...Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?-Isaiah 55

All those things I think will fill my life end up leaving me empty. I keep chasing them though, as if just a little more of worldly affairs will fill my cup. Just a little more security, just a little more admiration, just a little more control. And while I'm calling on you, you are lovingly calling me out on missed invitations, poor excuses, and less-than-better pursuits. You might not be so far after all.

In faith,
Rachel